Thursday, August 12, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
I don't call anyone by their first name.
The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office.
"What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.
"Bobby," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name.
"It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is Bobby Darling."
"Okay, Bobby, the next thing I want to tell you is..."
"What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.
"Bobby," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name.
"It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is Bobby Darling."
"Okay, Bobby, the next thing I want to tell you is..."
Three Blondes
A guy is having a drink in a very dark bar. He leans over to the big woman next to him and says, "Do you wanna hear a funny blonde joke?"
The big woman replies, Well, before you tell me that joke, you should know something. I'm blond, six feet tall, 210 pounds, and I'm a professional triathlete and bodybuilder. Also, the blond woman sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 220 pounds, and she is an ex-professional wrestler. And next to her is a blond who is 6'5, weighs 250 pounds, and she's a current professional kickboxer. Now, do you still want to tell that blond joke?
The guy thinks about it a second and says, No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times.
The big woman replies, Well, before you tell me that joke, you should know something. I'm blond, six feet tall, 210 pounds, and I'm a professional triathlete and bodybuilder. Also, the blond woman sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 220 pounds, and she is an ex-professional wrestler. And next to her is a blond who is 6'5, weighs 250 pounds, and she's a current professional kickboxer. Now, do you still want to tell that blond joke?
The guy thinks about it a second and says, No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times.
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
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